Internet Dating Part II

So then we decided Bloggiana and I that the internet dating thing should be taken a step further. How would we represent ourselves? I know, said Bloggiana, let’s look up some women and read their profiles. Wise already to vicissitudes of the sport, we browse them at a canter. Tigerlily flashes past. Angelinababy and Hotlusciouslips and Finepairofassets and Booksbooksbooks (or was that BoobsBoobsBoobs?) and FellsPixie all come and go. Tricia and JaneyMartin and BabsJones seem to us to have missed the point about the anonymity thing. Amy who uses the name Amy and the strapline Amy seems to have missed the point of almost all of it. SueDoNim seems to be quite sparky though and we find ourselves curiously excited by the project. It’s time to get down to some real self-marketing we agree.

And it all seems to be relatively easy. Bloggiana decides to call herself SweatyNun. I demur slightly at this and at her strapline which is something along the lines of making a habit of glowing. I think it all sounds a bit seemy and maybe she won’t attract the type of men she’s hoping to attract. But Bloggiana is her own woman and it seems as though the mutual nature of our internet profile writing is having to be re-jigged somewhat. I decide on the other hand to call myself BigTitsBlondeHairLongLegs. This is all patently untrue as I am a slim short brunette. But if I have learnt anything from the Minstrelfinger experience, it is that a name can do it all. My strapline says always joking which I hope will give the more gullible types out there a wee hint as to exactly the kind of internet dating game I am playing.

Then we write our full profiles. What exactly do we do? (Good question). Where do we live and how are we placed financially (another good question) and do we want more children and what do we believe in and what do we eat. Are we thoughtful (hmmm) or funny or intelligent or caring or independent or provocative? It all reminds me of my sister saying once when she was very young that you can get shampoo for greasy hair and dry hair and flyaway hair and tinted hair but where’s the shampoo for dirty hair? There do seem to be one or two crucial elements missing from the list. I for one can be grumpy. I can be hyper and unbelievably giddy and my inner blonde is frequently on show, particularly when I’m reading a map. I don’t mind putting this down but there is no inner blonde box. So I tick just one or two of the edgiest adjectives on the list and hope that no one will feel I’ve tricked them. Bloggiana says she is daring and wild and I think that the SweatyNun proposition is becoming more and more complex. In the last column, we are invited to admit how honest we have been. Bloggiana says very. I say totally. I am not sure that we aren’t both a bit awry there but we upload our photos. And run.